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Disclaimer: Amy, Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Giles, Joyce, Oz, Xander and Willow all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement intended.
Willow and Xander
Willow: Xander what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet.
Xander: Your just a big bucket o funny Will.
Willow: I knew it, I knew it, well, not knew it in the sense of having the slightest idea but I knew there was something I didn't know, you two were fighting way to much, its not natural.
Xander: I know its weird.
Willow: Weird! Its against all laws of God and man, its Cordelia remember, the 'We hate Cordelia club' of which you are the treasurer.
Xander: Look I was gonna tell you.
Willow: Gee what stopped you, could it be shame.
Willow: Xander! What happened to your…
Xander: I...I don't know, I was...err, dressed a minute ago. It's a dream, its got to be a dream, Ow, wake up, Ow, wake up, got to wake up, Agghhh!!!
Willow: She's got a date with Angel, isn't that exiting.
Xander: I'm elated.
Willow: Okay, well it's not for you, its for me, I'm, cause I'm still getting used to half-Monty.
Xander: Oh good. Half! You and Oz, which half?
Willow: Wouldn't you like to know.
Willow: I know, nice.
Xander: I was gonna go with gorgeous.
Willow: Really? You too, in...in a guy way.
Xander: Oz is very lucky.
Willow: So is Cordelia, in...in a girl way. I don't know if I can dance in this… I don't know if I can dance.
Xander: Come on, piece of cake, here. Well that's seems, to err.
Willow: Yeah, this shouldn't be a problem.
Xander: No problem.
*Smoochie noises*
Xander: That's didn't just happen!
Willow: No… I mean it did, but it didn't.
Xander: Because I respect you, and Oz, and I would never.
Willow: I would never either. It, it must be the clothes. It's a fluke.
Xander: It's a close fluke, that's what it is, and there'll be no more fluking.
Willow: Not ever.
Xander: We've got to get out of these clothes.
Willow: Right now!
Xander: Oh, I didn't mean…
Willow: I did...me either…
Willow: Personal question.
Xander: Yeah, shoot.
Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her were you.
Willow: Willow, how can you, err, I mean that's really bent she was… grotesque.
Willow: Still dug her huh.
Xander: I'm sick, I need help.
Willow: Don't I know it.
Willow: The only solution is the final solution.
Xander: Nuke the school.
Willow: I know, we could go to the bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and just ask for hot water.
Xander: Hop of the out-law train before you land us all in jail.
Willow: Goody, research party.
Xander: Will, you need a life in the worst way.
Willow: Okay, but do they really stick out.
Xander: What?
Willow: Sore thumbs, do they stick out? I mean have you ever seen a thumb and gone, wow, that baby is sore.
Xander: You have to many thoughts.
Xander: You know computers are on the way out, I think papers going to make a big come back.
Willow: And the abacus.
Xander: Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci.
Xander: That's not ascue, that's cockeyed.
Willow: Ascue means cockeyed.
Xander: Oh.
Xander: Angel was in your bedroom!?!
Willow: Ours is a forbidden love.
Xander: I hate these guys, whatever they want just falls into their laps. Don't you hate these guys?
Willow: Yeah, with there charmed lives, and there movie star good looks and more money than you can count, I'm hating.
Xander: That's why your so cool, your like a guy, you're my guy friend who knows about girl stuff.
Willow: Oh great, I'm a guy.
Xander: Might be some interest, I'm a man, I have certain desires, certain needs.
Willow: Ugh, I don't wanna know.
Xander: Those frat guys creep me.
Willow: You wanna protect her?
Xander: Mmhmm.
Willow: And prove your that your just as good as those rich snotty guys?
Xadner: Mmhmm.
Willow: And maybe catch an orgy?
Xander: If its on early.
Xander: Your bad to the bone.
Willow: I'm a rebel.
Xander: If there gonna attack in force aren't we thinking vacation?
Willow: We can't run, that would be wrong… Could we hide?
Xander: Ohh, stretchy…. Where was I?
Willow: You were pretending seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience.
Xander: Who says I was pretending?
Xander
Xander: Giles lived for school, he's actually still bitter that there were only 12 grades.
Xander: I am constant in my affections, Amy yip at the water slide park.
Xander: I do not babble, I occasionally run-on, every now and then I yammer.
Xander: Oh gang did ya hear that, a bonus day of class, plus Cordelia, mix in a little rectal surgery and its my best day ever!
Xander: Buffy, lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in ore, I completely renounce spandex.
Xander: Oh come on, you can tell us, were your busom friends, were friends of your busom.
Xander: For I am Xander, king of cretins, let all lesser cretins bow before me.
Xander: Is there some crisis that requires instant action, very far from here.
Xander: I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away.
Xander: Yep, I knew this would happen, nobody can be as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark-side erupting.
Xander: Dead guy here interrupted are tutorial… been meaning to thank you for that.
Xander: He killed a person then killed himself, those are pretty much two of the dumbest things you could do.
Xander: Right, like she's gonna fall for that.
Xander: Okay, so tonight, channel 59, Indian tv, sex, lies and incomprehensible story lines, I'll bring the beetle nuts.
Xander: Greek myths speak of cloaks of invisibility but there usually for the gods. Research boy comes through with the knowledge.
Xander: I'm going to do what any man would do about it… Something damn mainly.
Xander: Yikes, the quality of mercy is not Buffy.
Xander: Okay, on sleezing extra candy, tears are key, tears will normally get you the double bagger, you can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but its risky, only go there for chocolate.
Xander: Ohh, me and Buffy go wayyy back, old friends, very close, then there was that period of
estrangement were I think we were growing as people, but here we are like old times, I'm quite moved.
Xander: You know Buffy, Spring Fling is a time for students to gather, Oh God, Buffy I want you to go to the dance with me, you and me, on a date.
Xander: Well yeah I'm gonna take Willow, but I'm not gonna take Willow in the sense of take me.
Xander: This ain't no tea-party princess.
Xander: That's for the makeup and that's for the last 16 and a half years.
Xander: Cause if I tell you then you won't do it, just meet me at Willows' house in half an hour and wear something trashy...er.
Xander: Those wacky vampires, that's why I love 'em, they just keep ya guessin'.
Xander and Angel
For Xander and Angel sounds, go here.
Xander, Angel and Buffy
For Xander, Angel and Buffy sounds, go here.
Xander and Buffy
For Xander and Buffy sounds, go here.
Xander, Buffy and Cordelia
For Xander, Buffy and Cordelia sounds, go here.
Xander, Buffy, Cordelia, Oz and Willow
For Xander, Buffy, Cordelia, Oz and Willow sounds, go here.
Xander, Buffy, Cordelia and Willow
For Xander, Buffy, Cordelia and Willow sounds, go here.
Xander, Buffy and Giles
For Xander, Buffy and Giles sounds, go here.
Xander, Buffy and Jenny
For Xander, Buffy and Jenny sounds, go here.
Xander, Buffy and Jesse
For Xander, Buffy and Jesse sounds, go here.
Xander, Buffy, Jesse and Willow
For Xander, Buffy, Jesse and Willow sounds, go here.
Xander, Buffy and Willow
For Xander, Buffy and Willow sounds go here.
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