Disclaimer: Amy, Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Giles, Joyce, Oz, Xander and Willow all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement intended.

Buffy and Willow.

Willow: I'll give Xander a call, what's his number, oh yeah, 1-800-I'm-dating-a-skanky-hoe.
Buffy: Meow!
Willow: Really, thanks, I've never gotten a meow before.
Buffy: Well deserved.
Willow: Dartutin'

Willow: I like you at bed time, you actually said that?
Buffy: I know, I know.
Willow: Man that's like, I dunno, that's mocksy or something.


Willow: Well you know, I have a choice, I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well I didn't choose yet.

Willow: You've been doing that a lot, patrolling and sacking, infact you've kinda been all work and no play Buffy.
Buffy: I play, I have big fun, I came here tonight didn't I?
Willow: You came, you saw, you...rejected.

Willow: You two are so right for each other, except for the uh...
Buffy: Vampire thing.

Willow: Did you do that sexy dance with him?
Buffy: Am I ever gonna to live that down?
Willow: No.

Willow: Oh, I, I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh, good for me.

Willow: You like it?
Buffy: Smells good. What is it?
Willow: Just a little something we witches like to call a protection spell.
Buffy: Good deal, protection, I'm surprised though, cause usually spell stuffs more…
Willow: Stinky, yeah, that's why I added the lavender, give me time and I may be the first wicca to do all my conjuring in pine fresh scent.

Willow: Well I don't know though, he is a senior.
Buffy: You think he's to old cause he's a senior, please my boyfriend had a bicentennial.

Willow: I mean I'm not a full fledged witch, that takes years, I just did a couple of pagan blessing and... a tiny glamour behind a zit.
Buffy: Doesn't scare you?
Willow: It has, I tried to communicate with the spirit world and I so wasn't ready for that, it's like being pulled apart inside, plus I blew the power for our whole block, big scare.
Buffy: I wish I could have been there with you.
Willow: Me too. I really freaked out.
Buffy: I am sorry.
Willow: Its okay. I understand you having to bail and I can forgive that, I have to make
allowances for what you were going through and be a grown-up about it.
Buffy: Your really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing aren't you?
Willow: It's like a drug.
Buffy: Fine, okay, I'm the bad, I can take my lumps, for a while.
Willow: Okay, I'll stop giving you a hard time. Runaway.
Buffy: Will!
Willow: I'm sorry, quitter.
Buffy: Whiner.
Willow: Bailer.
Buffy: Harpe.
Willow: Delinquent.
Buffy: Tramp.
Willow: Bad seed.
Buffy: Witch.
Willow: Freak.

Buffy and Xander.

Buffy and Xander: Who are you?

Buffy: Why don't you and I do something together tonight, just the two of us.
Xander: Really?
Buffy: Yeah we can comfort each other.
Xander: Would lap dancing enter into scenario at all, because I find that very comforting.
Buffy: Play your cards right.
Xander: Okay, uh you do know that I'm Xander right?

Buffy: Do the words sealed and fate ring any bells for you Will, why go there?
Xander: You know, with that kind of attitude you could have had a bright future as an
employee at the DMV.

Buffy: Yeah, we need some alternate ghost theories, what do we know?
Xander: Dog spit is cleaner than human.
Buffy: Besides that?

Buffy: And if you wouldn't mind a little Jean and Roger, you might want to leave off the idiot part, being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
Xander:  Well actually kind of terns me on.
Buffy: I fear you.

Buffy: Oh come on, in all the years you've known Willow, you've never thought about her lips?
Xander: Buffy, I love Willow, and she's my best friend, which makes her not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much.

Buffy: So, what's on-tap tonight that's so important? Up-rising, prophesised ritual,
pre-ordained death fest?
Xander: Ahh, the old standards.

Buffy: I'm telling you, something weird is going on.
Xander: Something weird is going on, isn't that are school motto?
Buffy: Pretty much.

Buffy: She certainly looks perky.
Xander: Yeah, colour in the cheeks, bounce in the step, I don't like it, it's not healthy.

Buffy: Xander, how do feel about digging through some of Giles personal files and seeing what you can find.
Xander: I feel pretty good about it, does that make me a sociopath?

Buffy: I wasn't going to use violence, I don't always use violence. Do I?
Xander: The important thing is you believe that.

Xander: Ho he Ier.
Buffy: I can translate American salivating boy-talk, he says your beautiful.
Xander: Han su.
Buffy: Your welcome.

Xander: Hay, its me, if Angel's doing something wrong I wanna know, cause it gives me a happy.
Buffy: Well I'm glad someone has a happy.

Xander: So Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?
Buffy: Xander!
Xander: I mean how'd the laying go? No I don't mean that either.

Xander: Give ya a hand with that little lady.
Buffy: Your loving this far to much.
Xander: Admit it, sometime you just need a big strong man. Huh, uh Will give me a hand with that?

Xander: For vampire slayige?
Buffy: Oh, fire, beheading, sunlight, holy water, the usual.

Buffy, Cordelia and Willow.

Cordelia: Are these guys bothering you?
Buffy: Um, no.
Willow: See's not hanging out with us.
Jesse: Hay Cordelia.
Cordelia: Oh, please.

Buffy: What?
Willow: What are you talking about?
Cordelia: Some guy was stuffed in Auras locker.

Buffy, Cordelia and Xander.

Buffy: You were spying on me? What gives you the right?
Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?
Buffy: It was an accident.
Xander: What you just tripped and fell on his lips.
Buffy: It was wrong okay, I know that and I know that it can't happen again. But you guys have to believe me, I would never put you in any danger, if I thought for a second that Angel was going to hurt anyone…
Xander: You'd stop him, like you did last time with Miss. Calender.

Cordelia: This whole trying to be like me, really isn't funny anymore.
Buffy: I was never trying to be like you, and when was it funny?
Cordelia: I don't see why your pathetic need to recapture your glory days gives you the right to splinter my vote.
Buffy: How can you think it's okay to talk to people like this? Do you have parents?
Cordelia: Yeah, two of them, unlike some people.
Buffy: Your brain isn't even connected to your mouth is it?
Cordelia: Why don't you do use both a favour and stay out of my way.
Buffy: Don't ever do that again.
Cordelia: Your sick you know that?
Xander: Okay, lets not say anything we'll regret later okay?
Cordelia: You crazy freak.
Buffy: Vapid whore.
Xander: Like that.
Cordelia: What did you call me?

Buffy, Cordelia, Oz, Xander and Willow.

Buffy: I even could have gone to you Xander, you made your feelings about Angel and I
perfectly clear.
Xander: Look, I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a grey-hound over boy troubles.
Cordelia: Time out Xander, put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute, okay, I'm Buffy freak of nature right, naturally I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr.
Killing-spree, which is pretty much my call…
Buffy: Cordy, get out of my shoes.
Cordelia: I'm just trying to help Buffy.
Willow: Buffy, you never…
Buffy: Willow, please, I can't take this from you too.
Xander: Let her finish, you at least owe her that.
Buffy: God Xander, you think you could at least stick to annoying me on your own behalf.
Xander: Fine, you stop acting like an idiot, I'll stop annoying you.
Buffy: You wanna talk about acting like an idiot, Night-Hawk?
Oz: Okay, gonna step in, being referee guy.
Willow: No, let em go Oz, talking about it isn't helping, we may as well try some violence.
*SMASH*
Willow: I was being sarcastic.

Buffy, Cordelia, Xander and Willow

Willow: I shall confront and expel all evil.
Cordelia: I shall totally confront and expel all evil.
Xander: Out of marrow and bone.
Buffy: Out of house and home, never to come here again.

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