Disclaimer: Amy, Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Giles, Joyce, Oz, Xander and Willow all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement intended.

Buffy and Joyce.

Buffy: I told you, I'm a vampire slayer.
Joyce: Well, I just don't accept that.
Buffy: Open your eyes mom. What do you think has been going on over the past two years, the fights the weird occurrences, how many times have you washed blood out of my clothing and you still haven't figured it out.
Joyce: Well it stops now.
Buffy: No it doesn't stop, it never stops. Do think I chose to be like this, do you have any idea of how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or, God even studying, but I have to save the world, again.

Buffy: Ow.
Joyce: What's wrong?
Buffy: I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse and its neither creamy nor rinsy.
Joyce: Life is hard dear.
Buffy: Don't I know it. Is that a split end?

Joyce: So does 17 feel any different than 16?
Buffy: Its funny you should ask that. You know I woke up feeling more responsible, mature and level-headed.
Joyce: Really? Uncanny.
Buffy: I know possess the qualities one looks for in a licensed driver.

Joyce: You going out?
Buffy: Umm, umm, well, if its okay, I would like to find Willow and Xander.
Joyce: Will you be slaying.
Buffy: Only if they give me lip.

Joyce: We got a very exiting shipment in at the gallery, I um, thought I'd hang a few pieces in here, cheers up the room. 
Buffy: It's angry at the room, mom, it wants the room to suffer.

Buffy and Oz

Buffy: I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here.
Oz: But your not a rat, so call it an up side.

Buffy and Snyder

Snyder: Fight it if you want, just remember, lift a finger against me and you have answer to moo.
Buffy: Answer to moo? Did that sentence make some sense that I'm not in on?
Snyder: Mothers Opposed to the Occult. A powerful new group.
Buffy: And who came up with that lame name?
Snyder: That would be the founder, I believe you call her, mom.

Buffy and The Master.

Buffy: You have fruit punch mouth.
Master: What? *punch*

Buffy and Wesley

Wesley: Remember the three key words for any Slayer. Preparation, Preparation, Preparation.
Buffy: That's one word three times.

Buffy and Willow

Buffy: Err, what shall we do with the trio here, shall we burn them?
Willow: I brought marshmallows.

Buffy: But to not act on want, what if I never feel this way again.
Willow: Carpe diem, you told me that once.
Buffy: Fish of the day?
Willow: Not Carp! Carpe! It means cease the day.

Buffy: He'll come around, what guy could resist your whiley Willow charms?
Willow: At last count, all of them, maybe more.
Buffy: Well, none of them know a thing, they all get a F in Willow.
Willow: But I want Oz to get an A, and o one of those gold stars.

Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again, cause we've talked about this.
Willow: Hahaha, it makes me jumpy.

Buffy: It's a good call, you should question him.
Willow: Really? Me, I'll crack him like an egg.

Buffy: Willow, its okay that your helping Cordelia, we're best friends, I'm not going to hold it against you.
Willow: No, I'm not a friend, I'm a rabid dog who should be shot, but there are forces at work here, dark incomprehensible forces.
Buffy: And I'm sure there more important then all we've been through together or all the
number of times I've saved your life.
Willow: What do you want?
Buffy: 15 minutes alone on your computer with Cordelia's database.
Willow: Okay.

Buffy: A demon, a demon, a demon.
Willow: Its not a demon, it's a car.
Buffy: What does it want?

Buffy: What is this?
Willow: A doodle, I do doodle, you to, you do doodle too.

Buffy: I think I just violated the guy code big time.
Willow: Poor Xander, boys are so fragile.

Buffy: I need to get the skinny on Amber, see f she's had any colourful episodes before.
Willow: That means hacking illegally into the schools computer system, at last something I can do.

Buffy: Hay, speaking of Wow potential, there's Oz over there, what are we thinking, any sparkage?
Willow: He's nice, I like his hands.
Buffy: Mmm, fixation on insignificant details is a definite first sign.

Buffy: Have you dropped any hints.
Willow: I've dropped anvils.

Buffy: Hi, Willow right?
Willow: Why? I...I mean hi. Do you want me to move?

Buffy: Why don't we start with, Hi I'm Buffy and uh then lets sway directly into me asking you a for a favour, it doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for a while.
Willow: But aren't you hanging out with Cordelia.
Buffy: I can't do both?
Willow: Not legally.

Buffy: Look I really want to get by here, and Cordelia's been really nice… to me, anyway, but um, I kinda have this burning desire to not flunk all my classes and I heard a rumour that you were the person to talk to to get caught up.
Willow: Oh I could totally help you out.

Buffy: Your really getting into this interrogation thing.
Willow: The trick is not to leave any marks.

Buffy: So something ripped him open and ate out his insides?
Willow: Like an oreo cookie, well except without the chocolatey cookie goodness.

Buffy:  The lead dog turned up his snow shoe rabbit, the dog lay down low to the race, his body flashing forward leap by leap, he was sounding the deeps of his nature...
Buffy and Willow: and the parts of his nature...
Willow: that were deeper than he, going back into the wounds of time, the rabbit could not...
*Growl, snarl*
Willow: okay, lets try a less stimulating passage.

Buffy: There's something about this one that scares me, I need my Willow.
Willow: Ahh.

Buffy: Your missing the point of Halloween.
Willow: Free candy?
Buffy: It's come as you aren't night, the perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild no repercussions.
Willow: Oh, I don't get wild, wild on me, equals spaz.

Buffy: This is so unfair.
Willow: I don't think its that bad.
Buffy: It's the ubersuck.

Buffy: Although, I'm not exactly unpopular, a lot of people came to my welcome home party.
Willow: They were killed by zombies.
Buffy: Good point.

Buffy: Okay, shall we try this again?
Willow: Lets do it, I think we got the mix of herbs right this time.
Buffy: Okay, ready?
Willow: Diana, Hecate, I hearby license thee to depart, goddess of creatures great and small, I conjure to withdraw.
*squeak*
Buffy: Maybe we should get her one of those wheel things.

Buffy: Once you get to a certain point then ceasing is sort of inevitable.
Willow: Wow
Buffy: Yeah.
Willow: Wow. Wow.

Willow: I love it though, it's a great collection and the new librarian is really cool.
Buffy: He's new?
Willow: Yeah, he just started, he was curator at some British museum, or the British museum I'm not sure. But he knows everything and he brought all these historical volumes and
Biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?

Willow: Was it one of those vivid dreams when you could feel his lips and smell his hair?
Buffy: It had surround sound.

Willow: Your thinking to much, maybe you need to be impulsive.
Buffy: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend the vampire, I slept with him and he lost his soul and now by boyfriend is gone forever and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive choice I make will involve my choice of dentures.

Willow: Your leaving again. Thought you'd just stop by and pick up you lint brush and now your ready to go.
Buffy: It's not like anyone would mind.
Willow: Oh no, have a good time and don't forget not to write.
Buffy: Why are you attacking me. I'm trying.
Willow: Wow, and it looks so much like giving up.
Buffy: You were doing just fine without me
Willow: We were doing the best we could. Its not like we had a choice in the matter.
Buffy: Sorry that I had to leave. But you don't know what I was going through.
Willow: Well, I'd like to.
Buffy: You wouldn't understand.
Willow: Well, maybe I don't need to understand, maybe I just need you to talk to me.
Buffy: How can I talk to you when you were avoiding me.
Willow: This isn't easy Buffy, I know your going through stuff, but so am I.
Buffy: I know you were worries about me…
Willow: No, I don't just mean that, I mean my life, I'm having all sorts of… I'm dating, I'm having serious dating, with a werewolf, and I'm studying witchcraft and killing vampires and I didn't have anyone to talk to about all this scary life stuff, and you were my best friend.

Willow: Uh, if you have sixth period we could meet in the library?
Buffy: Or not. We could meet some places quieter… louder, um, that place just kinda gives me the wiggins.
Willow: Oh it has that affect on most kids.

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